I have a confession to make. I have been watching Hallmark Christmas movies since the beginning of November. I know, I know, the plots are extremely predictable, they are “cheesy” and sappy. And, I love them.
We hear over and over again in these movies about how Christmas is a “magical” time and it is a time where our hearts are open to love and being more loving. Unfortunately, the holiday season is not so “magical” for a lot of people.
Many people do not have a loving partner or family to spend their holidays with. I remember one extremely difficult Christmas in my mid 20s. I had disconnected from my family at this time after addressing the abuse I had endured over the years. I remember telling my father that if he was not
willing to acknowledge the abuse I had endured as a child and was still experiencing by one of my siblings that I had to step away from the family. He was not willing.
I was also single at that time and had let go of some toxic friendships as
well. You can see that I was cleaning house, so to speak. Still, it was a painful and lonely time in my life.
I know there are many people out there right now who are feeling this void. Whether you are in a relationship or have
family in your life, you can still be feeling this void. The wonderful thing about voids is the the Universe loves to fill them.
What I did not know at this time is that my void was actually working in my favour. If my life was filled with toxic people, the Universe could not bring me people who matched my want as there would be no space for them in my life.
My turning point came when I began to accept my reality. I did not like, want or prefer my life as it was, but fighting against it was not working for me either.
If your family and love life is not the way you want it to be, judging it, complaining and lamenting about it will bring you more of the same. You attract what you focus on. The first step to change is accepting and allowing. Can you simply be with what is?
The next step is to focus on the life you want to live versus the life you are currently living. If your husband, children or family members are treating
you poorly are you consumed with “victim” thoughts such as “Why me?”, “What did I do to you?”, “It’s not fair” or “People are always treating me this way.” Of course, with this type of thinking you are going to feel anger, blame, insecurity and unworthiness.
Since our emotions are more powerful than our thoughts in attracting our desires, strong emotions will attract more situations, experiences, places, things and opportunities to feel even more anger, blame, insecurity, and unworthiness. And, you will continue to attract others to you that will confirm your thoughts and feelings.
Getting out of a victim stance in your relationships also means looking at the maltreatment as a blessing. Yes, moving from blame to gratitude towards the other. You are thanking the other person for showing
you that you have more internal work to do. You are grateful because they are showing you where you are vibrationally in terms of self-love and what you think you deserve. You now know that it is your job to change your vibrational relationship to your relationships.
I am happy to say that my void has been filled with such amazing, loving people. I have the most wonderful husband. He is truly my greatest gift. I have dear friends in my life that validate, support, respect and admire me. As, I do them. I feel I have created the family I wanted all along. The family I chose. Although my biological family will never be the family I previously hoped and wished for, I remain accepting and allowing of what is.
If you have not met your true love yet and are feeling that void in your life, I invite you to register for an event that I am co-hosting with Suzie AE the Single Dating Diva on Sunday, January 20th: NoNonsense Love, simple, straight-forward common sense advice for singles to help you find love! Click here to register.