I was having a discussion with one of my dear friends this week. She left a career as a psychiatric nurse a year and a half ago to pursue a career as an occupational therapist. She went back to school for this retraining.
Unlike myself, who struggles to slow down (Thus, my focus on teaching others about life balance and harmony; the lessons we are here to teach are the ones we most need to learn ourselves), she is challenged by revving up. We often joke with each other that we could use more of each
other’s energy. I could use some of her “chill” and she could use some of my “get up and go!”.
When we spoke this week, she admitted she had not completed an assignment she had committed to completing two weeks prior. She was angry with herself. I know her well, so I was able to guess that her avoidance and procrastination was related to an old story she was telling herself about her worth.
She was always challenged at school. She did not excel in writing, grammar and vocabulary. Although, she graduated with a nursing degree and had a
very successful career for many years in mental health, the story of “not being good enough” continues to haunt her.
She is certainly not alone. A number of my clients are stuck in this story. I had a session with a client this week who was procrastinating and avoiding taking steps in her new business venture. She continues to hold on to a business that no longer excites her or brings her joy. Although, she is passionate about her new business, she remains stuck.
Do you ever find yourself procrastinating? Finding other “important” things to do so you just never get around to doing what your higher self is nudging
you to do? It appears as though you are tending to what matters, but your not really tending to what really matters.
Oh, there are many ways of thinking that make it so…
“What if I put my all into it and I fail?”
“I can’t move forward on my goal if this is not done first.”
“What if I don’t know how?”
And, the list goes on.
Procrastination is a form of self-sabotage. Avoidance is a behaviour or lack thereof. Every behaviour begins at the level of core beliefs. These beliefs are programmed by thoughts we think over and over again. And, these beliefs fuel our thoughts/interpretations about what is happening inside and outside of us. Emotions then flow out of our interpretations. From this emotion we make decisions about our actions.
Every behaviour, emotion and belief benefits us in a certain way. I often ask my clients what their payoffs are when they hold on to their negative and
limiting beliefs? And, what are the payoffs of their emotions that follow these limiting beliefs
These may sound familiar to you:
- Emotions such as sadness or discouragement draws attention to you from others;
- You get pity from others when you are in the martyr, noble sufferer or victim role;
- You get to stay in the familiar and known and avoid fear of the unknown;
- You avoid loss, growth can lead to the loss of friends and loved ones; and
- You feel guilty for doing better than others or having more than others.
Just this morning, I had a session with a client who did not have the courage to ask for what she wanted from the Universe because she thought that if she asked and got what she wanted then someone else who
needed “it” more would lose out. She expressed feeling greedy and guilty for wanting more.
I reminded her that there is enough to go around. In fact, there is more than enough for everyone as we live in an abundant universe as per the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. Esther/Abraham Hicks, tells us that the result of life is growth, but we can not grow if we do not birth new desires. We cannot grow if we do not ask for what we want.
And, often as soon as we get what we want, we birth new desires. Birthing new desires is our birthright. It is not greedy, it is necessary to our survival. When we stop growing we die. Don’t let your false beliefs prevent you from what really matters: your growth and your true potential.